Customer Relations...and an introduction

Ok, first rant of my new blog - I could link you to my old blog...but that would involve divulging my real name and I felt that having a blog with my name stamped on it somewhat limited me on what I could actually rant about as I could suffer...repercussions or something like that. That's right, I too don't want some flaming lunatic from the BNP bearing down on me - I'm sure you understand.

Introductions over, now to the blog!

Customer relations, they can be the reason between buying something from a shop, or leaving in protest. Seriously, one of the reasons you bought that computer screen you're now looking at could well be because you walked into PC World and some friendly chap said, "hello there good sir, need a spot of help?" Well ok, maybe not in that kinda English, but you get my drift - a bit of politeness goes a long way for businesses. Some businesses even have entire departments for making their staff act like they care about the customer (come on, shop staff never care about the customer really, they just want our money!). In the perfect world, all shop staff would be nice and polite.

Amazingly, the world isn't perfect.

Yep, that's right, even in this day and age we do know a little bit about how body language and how to be polite - even though many people are devoid of any politeness whatsoever, eg chavs. But I digress, this particular rant isn't about the rather irritating social habits of the chav population, it's about those fucking bastards who run businesses and don't be nice. Anyway, where was I? Ah, yes, even with the knowledge the human race now possesses many businesses still just don't cut it. I have a prime example; today I went scouting for a place in which to hire canoes from....

Just so you know, I know nothing about hiring canoes.

The first place looked pretty nice, the staff weren't exactly bad - they just seemed a little stoned or deaf...maybe both. Basically, the conversation went like this:

"Hello there, can I hire some canoes?"

"Errm...no."

"Why not?"

"...fully booked."

Just so you know, the ellipsis' in that dialigue represent mumbling. That's right, the staff member didn't know what the fuck he was talking about really, and didn't even great me. Fair enough, he looked about the same age as me, maybe even younger...maybe he lacks training (or maybe he was stoned and/or deaf). Either way, those excuses are not on. Actually, I think the lack of communication by the business to the consumer was rather paradoxical to the fact that the place was fully booked. How can a business with such low communication skills get some many damn customers? I think maybe this staff member was new and was thus inexperienced...but then why leave him on his own to supervise the premises while everyone else is collecting canoes? Stupid!

I left after the brief dialogue and went to the other canoe hire place nearby, just upstream. Here was a much better display of communication skills, I got greeted at the door and after inquiring as to hiring a canoe, politely informed that no hiring was on today due to the high river (they were the only company that thought it too dangerous, ah well). All good. Even though I was irritated as to the businesses stupid policy on dangerous water levels, I too wouldn't want the river rapids to run with blood from the mangled corpses of newbie canoeists - it would spoil the see-through water. Anyway, so my experience was all well and good, until I got back to the car. On the way out, I passed the parking ticket to a new arrival as I had been on site for only a few minutes.

Guess what happened?

Yep, that's right. Some stuck up too-big-for-his-boots son of a bitch staff member came out of the hut (I hadn't seen this guy previously) and proclaimed:

"No sharing tickets, we aren't no bloody charity here!"

Fucking hell mate. Apart from the rather awful use of grammer, we are in something called a recession, so paying £3 for a parking place in a muddy field prone to flooding is a bit steep I say, and being so rude about enforcing your overpriced parking rules isn't going to do the business any good in the customer relations department, you fool.

I'm never hiring from that business.

So there you have it. Business' can even in this day and age be insanely dumb about their customer relations. Twats.